You have such big influence to me where I actually don't realize

It's 8 December 2011. It's been one month since I updated my blog. I've abandoned it, even private it. But who cares? Nobody even cares why did I private my blog. Never mind. I am fine in this one month without updating my blog. November was a blue month for me. Blue mood, blue stuff and so on. I have a crush which I really quite into it but never mind again, I know my position. I don't dream much or neither expect much from anyone. I just need someone to listen to me and talk to me. But there's no one. They seem ignoring me or rather fooling me with one or two words. Really thought much these days. Bad atmosphere surrounded me. To go or not to go, to stay or not to stay. This is still a BIG question. Nobody could help me. What I need is only you. Someone please help me to find the true answer of the question.

I'm looking good in front of you whereas I am actually not.

That will always be you.

Cheer up Sier! :)