"I can" is more important than "I.Q"

Hello there :) kinda fine these days or should I say... Not feeling anything/already used to the feeling I used to have all the time?

Actually, I don't feel happy at all studying mass comm now. Happy, friends' love; Unhappy, dislike, slightly towards hate what I am doing now. I feel so insecure now; I can't feel myself; I am so not me; I feel like I am forcing myself to do something I don't really like.

Instead, I feel sorry too. Sorry to give up halfway, but no choice. I can't force myself to do something I don't like. Yes or No, no such thing as Yes & No to me. I might not be the perfect one to you, but please don't compare me with the others under your perspectives. I am me myself, nobody could replace me, not now, not in the future. How I wish I were alone. No family, no friends, no ones, just alone all along. Then, I could do whatever I want, no worries on others and at least, I would not be troublesome to other people.

To be honest, if I continue studying mass comm, the Cheong Yin Yi you see, talk, play, joke with is not the real me. It will only be the protective cover of me. I can't feel myself; I dream what I can't dream about; They say live happily now, but at the same time, they want me to think of my future rationally. Influential people said, "Happy are those who dream dreams and ready to pay the price to make them come true", "Don't let someone else create your world, for when they do, they will always create it too small", "They can conquer who believe they can", "If you have trouble thinking outside of the box, then blow up the box", "I make beanstalks; I'm a builder, like yourself", "Dreams don't work, unless you do",
"Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it",

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams"

"So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon. become inevitable"

* We grow great by dreams, all big men are dreamers.
They see things in the soft haze of a spring day or in the red fire of a long winter's evening.
Some of us let these dreams die, but others nourish and protect them;
Nurse them through bad days till they bring them to the sunshine and light which comes always to those who hope that their dreams
will come true.


Truly, from the bottom of my heart.